Microsoft is Clawing at Apple
Posted by Andrew | Filed under Bad Ads
Today in “Bad Ads,” I explain why the latest Microsoft ad campaign against Apple is completely pointless and not going to help them at all.
Microsoft is losing to Apple, let’s face it. They will never be have an Operating System as functional as OS X, they will never have a music player as cool as the iPod, and yes, they will never be as cool as Apple. Apple has all the elements of a cool company, they have a cool logo, cool stores, and cool products. Microsoft is basically a utility at this point, like the phone company or the post office. When was the last time the post office was cool?
So, Microsoft is now attacking Apple on the only advantage they think they have, price. They introduced a new ad campaign where “real people” tell them what they are looking for in a computer and their budget, and if they can find said computer within that budget, Microsoft will buy it for them. The first ad features “Lauren,” who wants a 17 inch laptop for under $1000. She found what she was looking for, an HP for $699, which according to Consumer Reports ranked well below the 17 inch MacBook Pro. I would think that someone with such a successful acting career could afford the lighter, thinner, and more powerful MacBook Pro.
My favorite part of the ad is when she’s in her car, which happens to be a Volkswagen Beetle as evidenced by the dashboard, and she says “I’m just not cool enough to be a Mac person.” Yeah, anyone who wears a scarf in what appears to be perfect southern California weather, isn’t cool enough to be a Mac person. Now, there’s a second ad starring “Giampaolo,” who clearly is cool enough for a Mac with a name like that.
He wants a powerful laptop with plenty of RAM and hard drive space for under $1500. Once again, he takes a look at the Macs and says “they are so sexy,” but then goes onto to say “Macs are more about aesthetics than they are about power.” What? Are you serious? I seem to recall when PC World admitted that the fastest Windows Vista laptop available was a MacBook Pro (via Laughing Squid). And they have only gotten better in every major category, faster processors, faster RAM, better battery life.
Yes, I will admit that you do pay a premium when you go with a Mac, like you pay a premium when you go with a Porsche. When it boils down to it, Microsoft isn’t going to pick up any new customers with ads like this. People who buy a Mac want a Mac, period. But, some people are always going to think “Why do I need a Porsche when a Corolla is all that I need?”
Bad Ads: SoBe Life Water
Posted by Andrew | Filed under Bad Ads
SoBe, the most pretentious subsidiary of PepsiCo, has recently been running an ad for their new 0 Cal Life Water line of drinks. The premise of the entire ad is this: Gay bearded “were-lizards” enjoy our flavored water, which happens to have no calories!
Seriously, when I first saw this ad, my gaydar started ringing like a fire engine. Some guy with a trimmed beard, wearing a white muscle shirt and what appears to be white capris that show off his “man features.” It screams winning float at the pride parade. To top it off, the guy turns into a lizard after drinking the product that they are advertising. What the heck is that all about? Try our water, it will turn you into a lizard?
The topper to all of this, that I only just found out, is that the man attempting dancing in this commercial, is a guy named Matt Light, offensive lineman of the New England Patriots. Wow, if I were Tom Brady, I would watch myself in the locker room around this guy. He may try to give you a makeover or something.
And the dancing, if you pay attention, is awful. You of course would only notice it if you did pay close attention because they distract you with dancing 3D reptiles all through the background. My favorite part is the bit with the lizards on treadmills, because they are watching their figure I guess. Oh, and the one with the little guitar is classic. Seriously though, when is Geico going to sue these people for copyright infringement?
As per usual, I’ve posted the commercial below. And if that wasn’t enough, here is the Super Bowl ad they ran this year. It’s enough to make me consider investing heavily in Coca-Cola, that’s for sure.
Bad Ads: Suzuki SX4 vs. the Mini
Posted by Andrew | Filed under Bad Ads
Let’s be honest, 99% of advertising, whether it’s on the TV, on Radio, in Print, or online, sucks. I’ve decided that something needs to be done about it, which is why I’m going to start pointing out these bad ads and why they’re bad.
Suzuki isn’t by any means, a big car company. I don’t even think most people are aware that Suzuki makes cars. They’re more well known for their motorcycles and ATVs. Well, Suzuki is trying to get their car sales up in the down market, because all of their cars are cheap for the same reason Daewoos we’re cheap, right up until GM bought them. They must be crap.
But, no matter, Suzuki will get there car sales up with a clever advertising strategy. Good plan. Except, they completely missed the target with an ad they’ve been running comparing their SX4 Crossover to a Mini Cooper. They say the SX4 has more power than the Mini, a whole 25 more horsepower. Wow, that’s…more.
They also mention that the Suzuki has America’s best warranty. Wait, I thought that Hyundai had America’s best warranty…they said so in their ad! And what about Toyota’s extended 15 year warranty? Isn’t that also pretty good? Please, no one sold anything saying they had the second best anything. Oh! but it does come with a Navigation system as standard! Yeah, that’s exactly what I want, a car that tells me how to drive. Those built-in navigation systems are always horrible, you’re always much better off getting a TomTom or a Garmin Nuvi.
And since when did the kind of people who are looking at a Mini for their next car would be interested in a Suzuki? That’s like a Super Market going up to somebody looking at Bananas and telling them why Oranges are better. The Mini is about looks and style. It’s like the VW New Beetle or the Jeep Wrangler, it’s about taste. No one who is looking to buy a Mini would look at this ad and change their mind.
And for that matter, why does Subway go after McDonald’s in there ads? You can’t buy a cheeseburger at Subway!
Here’s the Suzuki SX4 Croosover TV spot if you haven’t already seen it: